just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
