I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
