So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I need to sanitize my soul.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize