i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
40s are totally the cure
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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