He is an equal opportunity slut.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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