but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
