so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
