its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
