A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Mom said you looked used
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I will be naked everywhere
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
