wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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