Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
