Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
It's shark week go big or go home
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
