I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
