Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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