The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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