My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
