She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
