turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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