So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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