I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
