i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you have to choose: penises or morals?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize