A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Dignity is for republicans.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
