Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
