Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
