I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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