I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
