singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
