just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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