I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
