I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
