life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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