bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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