Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
