Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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