how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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