All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
