You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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