We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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