Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
