Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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