coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
the day after is always just damage control
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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