You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
