so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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