but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
someone owes me an orgasm
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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