She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize