Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
soo... how was my night?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
