You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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