oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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