do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
