you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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