I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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