im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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