ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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