Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
