I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
