it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
