My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
