Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
