Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
