We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
