so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
