seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
