just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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